Posted by Joshua C. Doyle, M.Ed. on Wed, Jul 28, 2010
For well over a decade I have seen adolescents able to consider post-secondary options that would have not been possible in the past. We are fortunate to have made great strides within the mental health world, although we still have a long way to go! With increased awareness of mental health issues (early intervention, pharmacology, and counseling) paths and doors are now open for many students who would never have been able to succeed in this direction before. While in high school, under the watchful eye of their parents, many adolescents seem to be able to handle the academic and emotional rigors of college. Some parents, worried that cutting the umbilical cord will cause the child to fail, become codependent rather than instilling the confidence and engaging the support of others at the college to do what they perceived as their job.
The constant level of communication between parents and their children with cell phones, texting and emails was baffling to me in my last position in college admissions. In various workshops and conferences I attended, I was stunned how despite the increasing selective admissions process at colleges, more and more students were not able to function independently. In many cases, there were students who did not disclose to the colleges their history of depression, substance abuse or anxiety. Many parents were fearful their son or daughter would not be accepted if they disclosed these struggles. Even more shocking was how many students and their parents had somehow convinced themselves that the start of college was a new beginning and the struggles of the past would somehow disappear. Unfortunately, this wishful thinking rarely worked out in the end. More often than not the inability of the students to handle college was an enormous setback for the entire family and the letter, typically arriving around Christmas, would ask the student to pack up before the next semester began.
When I was working in higher education I was never privy to what these students did after their sudden and premature departure from college. It wasn’t until I became an educational consultant that I found myself once again working with these troubled young adults but in very different circumstances, many of them living at home with their parents with absolutely zero prospects for the future.
The sad truth of the matter is that many of these young adults were set up to fail. The idea that a college will relieve the emotional and temperamental setbacks these young adults have had in the past is wildly unrealistic. If anything college can exacerbate these issues and I can’t help wonder how much pain they would have been spared if they had been set on a more realistic path from the beginning.
Many colleges now have support systems in place to help students with a variety of struggles. Families need to take to take advantage of these opportunities in the selection process. It is imperative that a school know if the students have any special needs (academically and/or therapeutically). Knowing this will only help the school help the student stay afloat. The idea of not disclosing this information during admission process will only hurt the young adult in the end.
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Tue, Dec 22, 2009
I would like to humbly recommend that college and university admission offices everywhere make a decision when a student applies to their institutions. Do away with deferrals. Say "yes" or say "no." Apply this policy to candidates who apply under any one of the half dozen or so decision options available to them: early admission, early decision, early decision II, early action, rolling admission, rolling early action, restricted early action, rolling admission, or good-old-fashioned regular decision.
Particularly with early decision, students are required by colleges and universities, essentially, to make a decision as they apply that they will attend that institution if given the opportunity. If the applicants wish to defer making that decision, they do not apply under the early decision option. (In most cases) It's simple. Yes or no.
It is a fairly significant statement if a 17- or 18-year-old puts themselves out there by applying early decision. They are reticent to make a public statement of commitment without knowing if the sentiment is mutual. No one likes to take the risk of being rejected by someone (or someplace) they "love." Adolescents avoid this rejection like the plague. Most of the high school seniors with whom I work opt, instead, for the (in their minds) "safer" early action option to fulfill the current social obligation of knowing where they will go to college by Christmas.
So when they do make public their love for a particular college by applying under an early decision option, it seems only fair that the college respect that risk by replying with a definitive response. Instead, year after year, my colleagues - both independent and school-based counselors - and I try to explain to bewildered and heart-broken students and their families why an institution is asking them to hang on a while longer for an actual decision.
After commiserating with them over their disappointment, the conversation usually goes something like this:
ME: "Your credentials weren't as competitive within the early decision applicant pool as they would have liked."
STUDENT: "So then why didn't they just reject me?"
ME: "Because there are so many wonderful things about you that they still feel there may be a place in their class for you."
STUDENT: "So then why didn't they just admit me?"
ME: "They admit the very best of the best applicants under early decision and because it's so competitive, you may have just fallen a little short."
STUDENT: "So after all of this, they could still say ‘no' if the regular decision application pool is competitive, too?"
ME: "Yes, that's correct. But they could also say ‘yes'"
‘Round and ‘round I go with the student a few more times and the parents twice as often. The conversation usually ends with no less angst on the part of the student and the family despite my efforts to convince this young person that life itself has not yet ended. The student mutters that "it" would be so much easier if he just knew if one way or the other. I can't help but agree. It's supposed to be an early decision. Not an early wait-and-see. If they don't quite measure up, cut the cord and let these poor kids move on to plan B. Otherwise, throw your arms open, be excited they loved your institution enough to take a risk, and start cultivating that engaged student and eventual happy alum.
Let us know what you think...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Fri, Nov 20, 2009
Last week I spent the better part of the week visiting colleges in North Carolina. I found myself on a whirlwind tour of 7 campuses in just over two days, and I would have kept going if I could have. Every time I visit college campuses, I walk away wishing I were a student again.
For those of you out there who, like me, applied to college 15, 20, or more years ago (I'll leave you guessing on my age), let me tell you that the college experience is not what it used to be. Do not try to advise your high schools seniors or juniors based on the knowledge you gained when you went through it. It's a whole new world. Literally and figuratively.
Everything is "global" and "experiential" and "connected" and "passionate" now. I don't think any of these adjectives could have been used to describe the just-over16 years of life I had experienced when I sat down at my typewriter (hey, it was electric!) and completed my college applications. Nor, with the exception of an internship and one semester-long research project with a professor, do they describe the experience I had while I was in college.
College students now are offered an abundance of opportunities to study and work abroad in countries all over the world. More and more, the cost for these experiences is built right into their tuition and fees. Overseas properties in exotic locations are hot commodities. London? Spain? Italy? *Yawn* We're talking about Ecuador and Copenhagen and Kenya now.
But students are not only going to far off places, they are also engaged in the communities in which their colleges reside. Courses in all disciplines and subjects incorporate community-based learning to give students an immediate outlet to apply what they have learned in the classroom while at the same time learning to become conscientious citizens.
Interns don't just do the filing, shadow the employees, and gripe about doing grunt work anymore. They are given projects to dig into and made team-members and asked to analyze data in ways that impact decisions - experiences that were previously reserved for entry-level employees. On campus, students have access to real-time trading and are given university money with which to do it - and they don't lose it all! They usually break even or make money.
This trend is long overdue. Most people learn better when they are allowed to do something rather than just hear it or see it. The world is not divided into subjects and colleges; it is interdisciplinary. Employers don't have the luxuries of time and money to train new hires if they wish to remain competitive in a global economy. It makes sense, of course, to incorporate "real-life" skills and experiences into the education of bright young minds because graduates need to be able to hit the ground running to have even a chance of landing a job in today's work places.
I cannot help but wonder, though, how much of it "sinks in" for these kids - because in many ways - and now more than ever, I believe (that's a topic for another blog) - they are still "kids." How may 17 to 21 year-olds are developmentally ready and able to achieve the levels of focus and introspection that would make these "passionate", "global" experiences truly rich and life-directing? Come to think of it, how many people of any age are sufficiently introspective to make the most of the experiences life has to offer?
And so I humbly submit, that I would like a "re-do" of my college years. I'm sure I can find my passion and my focus somewhere in Australia.
What would you do differently if given the chance for a college "re-do?" Leave a comment below...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Tue, Oct 06, 2009
A couple weeks back, the fall air intoxicated me, and I whimsically advised juniors (and late-blooming seniors) of the top 10 things NOT to do when applying to colleges. Now I'm feeling a bit more sober as I've been smacked back to reality by stressed seniors and their parents. If there is one message to parents that I would love to shout from the top of our office building, it is this:
As tempting as it may be to micro-manage the process or step in and "save" your child, DON'T do it!
Rather than just yell more about what students and their parents shouldn't do, I'd instead like to offer some balanced suggestions. These are intended for parents who are just beginning the process of researching college options with their children as well as for those who are knee-deep in it with their high school senior children.
DO outline your expectations and limitations (especially financial) clearly, but DON'T impose your expectations for the "look and feel" of the institution on your child. Let your child explore!
DO make a plan for when and how often you will communicate about the status of your child's college process, but DON'T expect to get a positive responsive if you bombard your child with questions as she's on the way out the door or when she first wakes up on the weekend. PLAN for successful communication!
Similarly, DO listen to your child's expectations, hopes and dreams for her college experience. By doing this, you will indicate that the process belongs to her - as does the responsibility for what gets done and what doesn't. Therefore, DON'T use the pronouns "we" or "our" in your discussions with her or anyone else ...as in "We would love to get into Harvard" or "We haven't written our essay yet."
Gaining admission to college is not a status competition; DON'T turn it into one for your child. DO encourage him to find the college that is the best fit for his learning style, career goals, social interests, and personality.
DON'T think you are saving your child time or "helping him" by making phone calls to Admissions Offices to set up interviews or ask questions about his applications. Admissions offices would much rather hear directly from the applicant than a parent.
However, DO make contact with the Financial Aid offices early in the process to find out what documents you need to file and when. Your child will likely not be in a position to know all of the financial information needed to complete the necessary forms.
Finally there are a few cardinal rules that are simply NON-NEGOTIABLE:
- DO NOT under any circumstances complete applications or write/over-edit essays for your child.
- DO be supportive, interested, and engaged.
- DO keep perspective in the process and the process in perspective. Love your child enough to help her do the same.
Any parent anecdotes? Confessions? Let us hear them...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Wed, Sep 16, 2009
It's fall. Even though the leaves haven't yet begun to turn colors, it feels like fall. The air in New England has taken a turn toward crisp, fall sports teams have played their first competitive matches, football is on TV, the apples are ripe, and students are settled back into their academic year routines.
For high school seniors, that means that they are well into the fall college application rhythm (or they should be by now). Ideally, at least one round of campus visits are behind them, they've narrowed their lists to a realistic number of colleges to which they will apply, essays are being polished, and their teachers are contemplating what to write in recommendations.
For juniors, the beginning of the school year means the anticipation. As they watch their senior friends stress about "getting it all done" and "getting in," they wait on pins and needles for their spring guidance counselor meetings to officially kick off their own descent into the frenzied process that has come to define applying to college. My job as an educational consultant is to help students - and their families - keep in check at least some of the anxiety, stress and craziness.
And so to that end, I offer juniors - and late-blooming seniors - my top 10 list of things NOT to do when applying to college.
10. Avoid talking to your parents about how you and they will fund your college education
9. Skip campus visits all together or "wait to see where you get in" before visiting colleges
8. Get senioritis and take an easy course load
7. Wait until the last minute to ask teachers to write recommendations for you
6. Post pictures of you drunk or other embarrassing content on social networking web sites
5. Let your parents do the research and create the list of colleges to which you will apply
4. Apply to colleges based on where your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. are applying
3. Don't explain a discrepancy in your academic record when a good explanation exists (for example, an illness or a death in the family)
2. Try to "hide" something (for example, suspension or other disciplinary actions)
1. Have someone else write your essay(s)
Stay tuned for my follow-up, in which I will feature a top 10 list for parents of those applying to college...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Mon, Jul 27, 2009
Ah, the lazy, hazy days of summer. Remember what it was like to look forward to summer as a kid? Three whole months! No school. No homework. Long hours of daylight. Lots of ice cream. My mother usually made sure to fill up a couple of weeks with day camps and rec programs so that my brother and I wouldn't drive her to the brink of insanity but these were carefree months.
Eventually, as a teenager, summer meant that I could work more hours to earn money that I would spend hanging out with friends at the mall or the movies or the local coffee shop. Not to pay bills; we didn't have cell phones then. If we had, I either wouldn't have been allowed to have one, or I'm sure my father would have introduced me to bill-paying as a teen. Even though I was "working", those three whole months of summer were still a vacation. They allowed me a break from the routine of getting up early, completing the compulsory number of hours in a school day, and committing several after-school hours each day to various school or community activities.
And so why am I surprised that I have to nag, beg, cajole and bargain with students to work on their college admissions essays over the summer? When I meet with students and parents each spring, to a person (students included), the number one stated objective, far and above all others, is "to be done with the college admissions essays and hopefully applications" before school resumes in September. The concept is great. The reality is that high school seniors-to-be want those three whole months to be as carefree as teenager can be in today's world.
But my job is to rain on their parade, be a party pooper, and stand-in for their parents as "nag" or "bad guy" on all things college-related. If I am successful at my job (which I am in most cases), students have, at the very least, completed the heavy lifting parts of applying to college before the first day of their senior year. The activities "resume" is done, the Common Application is 90% finished (with maybe just a few college supplements left to complete), and the major essay(s) might still need a tweak or two, but they're largely done. I try to make it as painless as possible. We tackle things in small pieces that usually require just a few hours' commitment each week through July and August. I don't hear many complaints, and those I do hear usually come from the students who procrastinate.
When September rolls around and my students go back to school, they realize how much further along they are in the application process than their peers. They don't experience the stress of trying to get essays written while studying for the SATs or completing the Common Application late at night when they're exhausted after a sports practice. That's when they realize that the minor intrusion on their three whole months off was well worth it.
It's mid-July, and I'm in "nag mode" right now. I won't breathe easy until next spring when all the admissions decisions have been received. Then I'll take one whole month before starting the cycle over with a new group. Ahhh, May!
Posted by Adam R. Goldberg, M.Ed. on Thu, Apr 30, 2009
Today is the day... May 1 marks the beginning of a new chapter for
those accepted to college. They've researched, visited, applied, received notifications, and finally made a decision.
But, reality sets in. Now they actually have to come up with the money!? Or do they?
The bottom line is that the vast majority of those 'consumers' don't know how to buy. They are so swept up by the dream that the financial aid award letter catches them off-guard. They are disappointed, perhaps devastated to learn that there will be a sizable gap between what they hoped to pay and what they will have to pay.
So what do most do? They make rash decisions and either jump into inappropriate, incompatible financial products or they actually consider changing the college plan itself. Others just accept the fate bestowed upon them and end up struggling more than they need to... for many years out. Ouch!!
Now what should you do? Our self-declared "financial aid geek," and Goldberg Center Education Financing Director, Nina Flood, described a myriad of strategies in a corporate presentation just the other day. College aid for students comes in many forms and she urges clients to carefully and objectively examine and evaluate loan programs. The problem is that colleges themselves are highly discouraged from steering families to particular lenders due to the student loan scandal and then there are the sharks out there who claim to advise objectively, yet hawk their own wares to make commissions.
If you want completely unbiased, unattached advice, hop on over to our May Day! Paying for College Promotion and sign up to chat with Nina. She's seen it all and will be virtually giving away her life lessons from over 25 years as a financial aid officer (Brandeis & BU) and education lending expert. And tell a friend or two if you think they could benefit as well.
Posted by Adam R. Goldberg, M.Ed. on Thu, Apr 16, 2009
I've read them all... and even still, most college admissions essays put me to sleep. Sorry.
I don't want to hear about your new appreciation for life after seeing how "the other side" lives in some shanty village by that resort you stayed in with your parents. (yawn)
I could care less about your grandmother, without whom you never would have been inspired to achieve excellence. (ho-hum)
Oh, and please don't even bother using the college admission essay to explain away erratic grades or poor test scores. (yikes)
So, which ones are the good ones? The ones that have me jumping out of my seat with hands in the air do the following:
- They hook me... there's no way I'm only eating that one potato chip.
- They humble me... a single moment in time changes the course of life.
- They invite me... I'm given the keys to heart and soul.
- They inspire me... and suddenly all seems good in the world.
- They move me... I'll actually never be the same again after reading.
Tall order for a young mind? Perhaps.... But I don't make the rules. I can only show you how to use them to your advantage, or even bend them ever-so-slightly.
Winning college admissions essays, in my opinion? Here are two opening excerpts that stand out and have even earned direct handwritten praise from admissions officers on their acceptance letters:
1. A day in the life of an typical kid in a typical town with a not-so-typical role in his community:
I'm the one creeping around in your bushes as the sun sets. I'm the one spotted taking notes on the side of your house when nobody is home... I'm the water meter reader in zip code 02---.
This essay goes on to demonstrate the "dirty job, but someone's gotta do it" principle. Note that I stress ‘demonstrate...' the student used vivid imagery to show rather than tell the story. He gave examples of characters with whom he interacted, and ultimately left the impression that he's the guy you want in your community, on your campus. Guess what - it worked!
2. A self-proclaimed astronomy geek, who changes the mindset of his hockey teammates:
Busted! The hockey guys followed me from the rink to the observatory, finally discovering where I was spending my extra time. For a stretch I was the most ridiculed six-foot-four hockey player in the history of our school. That was until I decided to return the favor by bringing out the inner-geek of my teammates as well.
He continued on with this exhibition of humility. Ironically, his vulnerability induced an impression of both self-assuredness and impassioned pursuit. When he dragged his buddies to check out the stars and they actually enjoyed themselves in the end, he was transformed from closet geek into community leader... one who was evidently the object of desire for each admissions officer who read his essay.
For all of you high school juniors out there, keep these points in mind when you begin to dig in this Spring/Summer. And feel free to get in touch if you want feedback or specific strategies. We are launching a service in the coming weeks that addresses this critical college application component.
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Fri, Apr 10, 2009
Wide awake at 4:30 in the morning on a Sunday, I can't stop thinking about - what else?! - the conundrum of college admissions waitlists. I recall the sentiment of a student with whom I worked with a couple of years ago. She was an accomplished young woman academically, athletically, and in her activities. Unfortunately, she was waitlisted by her top choice college. She wasn't so much disappointed as annoyed about the indecisiveness on the part of the college. It seemed like a cop-out to her.
And so, at 4:30 in the morning, I am strangely inspired by the wisdom of Tom Petty.
"The waiting is the hardest part."
As if waiting for an initial decision wasn't hard enough, if you are placed on a waitlist, you are asked to wait some more. My advice: don't just wait. If you chose to accept your place on the waitlist, there are other things you can and should do while you wait.
- First of all, if the school that waitlisted you is your top choice, let them know that. Visit again. Write a sincere note telling them that they are your top choice despite the fact that you have been accepted by other colleges.
- If you have additional academic or leadership accomplishments since your application, you also want to be sure that the college's admissions office is aware of them. Include this information in your sincere note or provide documentation.
- Finally, in this economy, it doesn't hurt to let them know if you are able and willing to pay the full tab to attend their institution. Admissions offices have long prided themselves on being need-blind in making decisions, but this year the ability to pay is likely to be factor that could tip the scales in your favor.
One thing to keep in mind is that not many colleges use "ranked" wait lists per se. Often, if you are waitlisted you are actually part of a wait pool. You want to distinguish yourself from that pool without redundantly submitting the same information you put in your application and without being a nag. So don't remind them of all of the things they already know about you and don't call everyday (or have lots of people calling on your behalf). Write your sincere note, visit the campus again, and then....
You need to move on so that you are not just waiting. Put down a deposit at one of the wonderful institutions that did accept you and embrace it as if you are going to be a student there. Because the likelihood is that you will be matriculating when all is said and done. Although projections are that more students will be accepted this year off of waitlist than is typical, that still only translates to an increase on a mere 15% rate (the 2007 rate). It will still be the minority who find themselves moving from waiting to celebrating.
"Even the losers get lucky sometimes."
Let me clarify; I don't think of students who are waitlisted as "losers." My point here is that you may consider it a "loss" that you have been waitlisted. There are at least two ways that I can think of, though, in which you might end up being the lucky one.
The first, of course, is that you are accepted off of the waitlist by the college of your dreams; you enroll and live happily ever after.
The second is still a "happily ever after scenario," but at a college that ends up being even better suited for you than the one that waitlisted you; a college that appreciated your accomplishments and individuality in the first place. A college that recognized your potential and knew you would fit into their community. Imagine if you had not ended up on the waitlist at that other college. You never would have discovered this wonderful place.
Posted by Nina Flood, M.B.A. on Wed, Apr 08, 2009
I always considered myself an "above average" student, (at least), and hoped my kids would be the same, (again, at least), but recent work alongside my colleague Karen Plescia, M.S. has changed all that. I now realize the limitations of grading myself, my kids, or anyone for that matter. There are a lot of other options around average other than above or below it. I now think there are as many dimensions of excellence as there are individuals who seek it.
My background is financial aid/education financing, so my experience with college counseling sessions has focused on cost basis (state vs. private, etc.). Even though this angle did come up in our recent work together, many other ideas for all kinds of students with different strengths and challenges dominated our discussions. Where my background kept me thinking in linear terms, Karen touted with enthusiasm an array of individual-specific options. She described, among other things, design programs for artists, professional internships for students that needed some time to grow up, and schools that had supportive counseling programs for emotional issues. Prior, I had no knowledge of the plethora of opportunities that enable any interested student to achieve excellence on his or her own terms.
So, what about my thoughts on being an above average student? Well, they are gone... There is no average student. While some parents came into our consulting sessions concerned about grades or emotional issues, used to identifying his/her child as "below average," I don't think any of them left with the same resignation. The vehicle of empowering educational planning was really was an eye opener for most. No one was given hope - each parent already had that; they were given a plan.
I would encourage all parents to think in new terms about their children. They may be A, C, or Barely D students, but that does not mean they are above or below average. So when you are considering colleges for below-average, average, or even above-average students, try for a change to look beyond the notion of average.