Posted by Joshua C. Doyle, M.Ed. on Wed, Jul 28, 2010
For well over a decade I have seen adolescents able to consider post-secondary options that would have not been possible in the past. We are fortunate to have made great strides within the mental health world, although we still have a long way to go! With increased awareness of mental health issues (early intervention, pharmacology, and counseling) paths and doors are now open for many students who would never have been able to succeed in this direction before. While in high school, under the watchful eye of their parents, many adolescents seem to be able to handle the academic and emotional rigors of college. Some parents, worried that cutting the umbilical cord will cause the child to fail, become codependent rather than instilling the confidence and engaging the support of others at the college to do what they perceived as their job.
The constant level of communication between parents and their children with cell phones, texting and emails was baffling to me in my last position in college admissions. In various workshops and conferences I attended, I was stunned how despite the increasing selective admissions process at colleges, more and more students were not able to function independently. In many cases, there were students who did not disclose to the colleges their history of depression, substance abuse or anxiety. Many parents were fearful their son or daughter would not be accepted if they disclosed these struggles. Even more shocking was how many students and their parents had somehow convinced themselves that the start of college was a new beginning and the struggles of the past would somehow disappear. Unfortunately, this wishful thinking rarely worked out in the end. More often than not the inability of the students to handle college was an enormous setback for the entire family and the letter, typically arriving around Christmas, would ask the student to pack up before the next semester began.
When I was working in higher education I was never privy to what these students did after their sudden and premature departure from college. It wasn’t until I became an educational consultant that I found myself once again working with these troubled young adults but in very different circumstances, many of them living at home with their parents with absolutely zero prospects for the future.
The sad truth of the matter is that many of these young adults were set up to fail. The idea that a college will relieve the emotional and temperamental setbacks these young adults have had in the past is wildly unrealistic. If anything college can exacerbate these issues and I can’t help wonder how much pain they would have been spared if they had been set on a more realistic path from the beginning.
Many colleges now have support systems in place to help students with a variety of struggles. Families need to take to take advantage of these opportunities in the selection process. It is imperative that a school know if the students have any special needs (academically and/or therapeutically). Knowing this will only help the school help the student stay afloat. The idea of not disclosing this information during admission process will only hurt the young adult in the end.
Posted by Leslie S. Goldberg, M.Ed., CEP on Wed, Jul 21, 2010
No, this blog is not about a new concept for a high school. Nor is it about getting intoxicated in the woods. “Wilderness high” is the incredible feeling that participants with a successful wilderness experience feel upon completion of a specialized outdoor therapeutic experience. The feelings of confidence and competence, the feelings of “can do” rather than “can’t do”, the feelings of excitement and optimism… the transformation is simply amazing for these students who had prior feelings of hopelessness and helplessness before participating.
As an educational consultant for 25 years, I have seen the growth and changes in the industry, but the power of this experience 
remains the same. There are some down sides, however, to this incredible sense of power when leaving such a program. Since wilderness cannot last forever, participants must necessarily move on to a longer term therapeutic program, a school, or home. Please don’t misunderstand; this is not a bad thing, but parents, adolescents and young adults must realize that they will be the “newbies” at the next step, whatever that looks like. For example, if it is a therapeutic program or a new school, the student will typically begin at the bottom of the social and academic ladders, having to gain respect and privileges all over again. If they are going back home or to a former school they will have to work doubly hard to “prove” themselves.
A barrier to success? Absolutely not! A challenge? Sure. This transition is actually a life skill that everyone will experience when entering a new job, school/college, or relationship. The most important lesson is that this occurrence is inevitable and the more preparation on the part of the student and the family, the better. There will be no surprises when the honeymoon period wears off and the reality may induce some brief regression and old behaviors. If we are all prepared for this, however, we can remind ourselves that this is, in fact, what we knew would occur and that it will be over quickly if we, the collective transition team (students with parents, educational consultants, therapists, etc.), handle it collaboratively and productively.
Posted by Joshua C. Doyle, M.Ed. on Mon, Mar 22, 2010
Over a year ago I started taking a new approach to visiting wilderness therapy programs. Rather than simply visiting the administrative office or taking a quick trip out into the field to observe a group of kids, I wanted to experience first hand what it was like to go through the program itself. 
Now when I visit wilderness therapy programs I usually spend the night in the field with the staff and students in a group. The lack of distractions and the chance to "unplug" from the world is, in my opinion, an absolute luxury. During one of my more recent visits to a wilderness therapy program out west I took the opportunity to visit two young men whose parents I had recently advised.
When the students found out that I was there to spend the night in the field they were rather shocked that I would be crazy enough to subject myself to high desert terrain during the winter season. Despite what was viewed initially as temporary insanity, my stay in those conditions earned me a kernel of credibility.
The highlight of the trip for me was sitting down with the students for whom I had actually recommended placement earlier in their process. Normally I participate in regular communications with their therapists by phone, but it was amazing to be present to witness their sessions live. I had a whole new appreciation for how productive and meaningful the meetings were and felt validated that my students were experiencing the power of the wilderness I had described prior to their enrollment.
The funniest part of the experience was calling the parents after my visit to the field to inform them of where I had been for the preceding 24 hours. It took quite a bit of convincing that I went to see their child in the high desert by choice. Of course, after answering the deluge of questions, I spent the rest of the time assuring them that their child was warm, well cared for, smiling, eating well, and on the way to emotionally healthier living.
Talk about the perfect get-away...
Posted by Leslie S. Goldberg, M.Ed., CEP on Tue, Feb 23, 2010
We have always heard stories about kids saying unkind things to others. Remember reciting "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me"? Never did I imagine I would become nostalgic for that.
Unfortunately as media and technology have become more sophisticated so have those who hurl insults at others. In times past, bullies simply spread rumors person to person. Then they went virtual, moving insults to email messages and texting. Now they're leveraging the Social Mediasphere (Facebook, My Space, Twitter, etc.) and the hurtful content is out there for all to see.
It seems that nothing can or will be held back by the kids who are out to belittle another student. Fabricated stories are published online, photos are shared with the world, no matter how personal, hateful, or illicit they may seem. Hardly a month goes by that we don't hear about the child who took his or her own life as a direct result of such harassment.
What can parents do? Nearly every child has a cell phone or computer. It is our job as parents to oversee what kinds of messages are being sent and received. This is not a matter of being nosy or invading our children's privacy; it is simply a way to know if they are involved in either cyber-bullying or sexting. (sending inappropriate pictures by text on one's cell phone, which can then be distributed online).
Talk openly with your children. Let them know that you are current in your understanding of these issues. That way, you establish credibility as a savvy parent. The more your children, especially adolescents, know you can relate, the more likely they are to share thoughts, opinions, and concerns with you.
Get involved. Recent cases of suicide due to cyber-bullying covered in the media have opened a lot of eyes. As a result, parents, community leaders, school officials, and clergy have jumped into the mix to urgently address the issue.
Finally, keep on top of the issue. As quickly as bullying jumped into cyberspace, it is likely that it will continue to morph into new formats over time.
What will that look like in future years? Share your thoughts and any predictions...
Posted by Joshua C. Doyle, M.Ed. on Mon, Jan 04, 2010
Oftentimes I meet with parents of an at risk child who know conceptually that some sort of intervention is required. However, their heart isn't there yet.
They want to believe that, because their child has not hit rock bottom at that point, there is still some hope. This, for instance, can hold true for a child who suffers from depression or other inward-directed emotions. If that child is physically present, parents can often convince themselves things will turn for the better because they can protect their child and are convinced that, as problem-solvers themselves, they can control the situation.
This is not always the case, however, for a child who is either overtly abusing substance(s) or is directing behaviors outward through defiance or rage. The problems *appear* much more acute and parents can feel as though they have no other choice but to act.
In the former case, if a child is spending 14 hours per day gaming on the Internet, the parent may rationalize that at least that child appears happy and is engaged in something seemingly innocuous. Similarly, the child who is severely depressed and doesn't want to leave the home may make the parent feel that the only place he/she feels "safe" and "wanted" is home under their care.
The sad truth is that, more often than not, parents are enabling their children because they fear loss of love as a consequence of intervening. A child can often falsely empower parents by appealing that he/she will never be happy leaving home and that trust and understanding is at stake. Unfortunately, this empowerment is really just masked manipulation.
Needless to say parents want their children to love them... however, the cost of wanting their children to love them while they are suffering pales in comparison to the devastating costs associated with losing them in the long run.
So, when parents ask in exasperation, "Will my child ever love me again?" my answer can be hard for them to hear. I explain to them that their child will in all likelihood make it clear to them up-front that the answer will be no... today. However, over time as healing takes hold, those parents will eventually see the longer-term gains of building a love that perhaps did not even exist at that level before.
Let us know what you have experienced...
Posted by Leslie S. Goldberg, M.Ed., CEP on Mon, Nov 09, 2009
Throughout my nearly 24 years as an educational consultant, various diagnoses have been known as the "diagnosis du jour" and yet one stands out as having been around for as long as I have been in practice... Bipolar disorder, which for years was known as manic depression only diagnosable in adults, is a mood disorder now understood to be present in children and adolescents. The presenting behaviors and symptoms, typically seen by both clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, are disruptive to school and home life and can tear a family apart as the symptoms become more pronounced.
When children's rage behavior, self harm, and extreme mood swings are at the point that the family simply cannot continue, a residential placement is sometimes the best way to deal with diagnosis and treatment. There are specialized short-term placements lasting approximately 6-10 weeks where the children and adolescents can be assessed and most importantly observed in a controlled setting day and night, 24/7. Very often insurance can help cover much of the costs of such a placement, although one can never guess which insurance plan will cover anything these days!
There are programs for young children as well as adolescents and young adults, with individual therapy, group therapy, and continued schooling in a structured and caring setting with experts called in as needed. In many cases, these extreme types of behaviors would rule out the use of outdoor therapeutic wilderness programs, and yet most of these diagnostic and treatment programs offer recreational activities as well as sedentary ones so that the health and well-being of the patient is assured. As the diagnosis and treatment plans become clear, and the patient is stabilized with a medication regimen as needed, the next step is discussed with the team, which would consist of the parents, the treating professionals, and sometimes the patient, if appropriate. The next step could be returning home with wrap-around services to continue the growth of the patient, or it could be a therapeutic day or boarding school.
The fear of the unknown is far worse than the reality of coming up with a wonderful solution to a frightening family problem. Let us know what you have experienced in either helping a family member cope with bipolar (or any type of mood disorder, for that matter, including bipolar II, cyclothymia, etc.) or in treating patients with bipolar as a clinical professional.