Posted by Joshua C. Doyle, M.Ed. on Wed, Jul 28, 2010
For well over a decade I have seen adolescents able to consider post-secondary options that would have not been possible in the past. We are fortunate to have made great strides within the mental health world, although we still have a long way to go! With increased awareness of mental health issues (early intervention, pharmacology, and counseling) paths and doors are now open for many students who would never have been able to succeed in this direction before. While in high school, under the watchful eye of their parents, many adolescents seem to be able to handle the academic and emotional rigors of college. Some parents, worried that cutting the umbilical cord will cause the child to fail, become codependent rather than instilling the confidence and engaging the support of others at the college to do what they perceived as their job.
The constant level of communication between parents and their children with cell phones, texting and emails was baffling to me in my last position in college admissions. In various workshops and conferences I attended, I was stunned how despite the increasing selective admissions process at colleges, more and more students were not able to function independently. In many cases, there were students who did not disclose to the colleges their history of depression, substance abuse or anxiety. Many parents were fearful their son or daughter would not be accepted if they disclosed these struggles. Even more shocking was how many students and their parents had somehow convinced themselves that the start of college was a new beginning and the struggles of the past would somehow disappear. Unfortunately, this wishful thinking rarely worked out in the end. More often than not the inability of the students to handle college was an enormous setback for the entire family and the letter, typically arriving around Christmas, would ask the student to pack up before the next semester began.
When I was working in higher education I was never privy to what these students did after their sudden and premature departure from college. It wasn’t until I became an educational consultant that I found myself once again working with these troubled young adults but in very different circumstances, many of them living at home with their parents with absolutely zero prospects for the future.
The sad truth of the matter is that many of these young adults were set up to fail. The idea that a college will relieve the emotional and temperamental setbacks these young adults have had in the past is wildly unrealistic. If anything college can exacerbate these issues and I can’t help wonder how much pain they would have been spared if they had been set on a more realistic path from the beginning.
Many colleges now have support systems in place to help students with a variety of struggles. Families need to take to take advantage of these opportunities in the selection process. It is imperative that a school know if the students have any special needs (academically and/or therapeutically). Knowing this will only help the school help the student stay afloat. The idea of not disclosing this information during admission process will only hurt the young adult in the end.
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Thu, Feb 04, 2010
College is scary. For parents. For high school students applying. For students already enrolled.
It seems that every time I hear a news story about "college" lately, the undertone is fear. This was especially the case as I watched our local news one morning recently. The headline stories included: the stabbing of a student at a well-regarded local university and a murder in which a man shot his daughter to death, critically wounded his wife, and then killed himself. The reason for the latter has been alleged to be financial strain - including upcoming college tuition bills; his daughter was a high school senior heading to college next year.
In international news, compliments of NPR, I read about the New Zealand 19-year-old who auctioned her virginity online claiming she "was desperate for money to pay university fees." Prostitution is legal in New Zealand, and she fetched $32,000.
Less extreme, perhaps, but ever present at this time of year are stories of high school seniors receiving admissions rejection letters and disappointment over financial aid packages and the frantic appeals that each trigger.
In the midst of all of this, college counselors - both school-based and private - are supposed to get high school juniors and their families excited about the idea of going through this apparently frightening - sometimes even life-threatening - rite of passage. Something doesn't jive.
I'm left with such a sense of bewilderment that I don't know where to begin teasing apart the madness. My egalitarian heart still holds on to my conviction that every capable young person should be able to pursue higher education. No matter how scary it may seem socially, emotionally, or financially, they should have the opportunity to give it a shot. On the other hand, my practical mind reminds me that there are many paths to higher education and that taking a path that is well-suited to the individual can, and should, make the whole process of applying to, paying for, and completing college less scary.
My heart and head aside, experience has taught me that college is not "one-size-fits-all." Unfortunately, our collective societal mentally has pushed students and families to believe that a 4-year, top tier college experience is the measure of success. Success is measured by what one does with the opportunities presented to him - not by where those opportunities occur.
As someone who counsels families through the college process, I want to stop the madness and take the "scary" out of the application process. And somehow my colleagues who still work at higher education institutions, parents, and the students themselves will have to figure out how to take the scary out of being in college.
Are you scared? How so? Let us know...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Tue, Dec 22, 2009
I would like to humbly recommend that college and university admission offices everywhere make a decision when a student applies to their institutions. Do away with deferrals. Say "yes" or say "no." Apply this policy to candidates who apply under any one of the half dozen or so decision options available to them: early admission, early decision, early decision II, early action, rolling admission, rolling early action, restricted early action, rolling admission, or good-old-fashioned regular decision.
Particularly with early decision, students are required by colleges and universities, essentially, to make a decision as they apply that they will attend that institution if given the opportunity. If the applicants wish to defer making that decision, they do not apply under the early decision option. (In most cases) It's simple. Yes or no.
It is a fairly significant statement if a 17- or 18-year-old puts themselves out there by applying early decision. They are reticent to make a public statement of commitment without knowing if the sentiment is mutual. No one likes to take the risk of being rejected by someone (or someplace) they "love." Adolescents avoid this rejection like the plague. Most of the high school seniors with whom I work opt, instead, for the (in their minds) "safer" early action option to fulfill the current social obligation of knowing where they will go to college by Christmas.
So when they do make public their love for a particular college by applying under an early decision option, it seems only fair that the college respect that risk by replying with a definitive response. Instead, year after year, my colleagues - both independent and school-based counselors - and I try to explain to bewildered and heart-broken students and their families why an institution is asking them to hang on a while longer for an actual decision.
After commiserating with them over their disappointment, the conversation usually goes something like this:
ME: "Your credentials weren't as competitive within the early decision applicant pool as they would have liked."
STUDENT: "So then why didn't they just reject me?"
ME: "Because there are so many wonderful things about you that they still feel there may be a place in their class for you."
STUDENT: "So then why didn't they just admit me?"
ME: "They admit the very best of the best applicants under early decision and because it's so competitive, you may have just fallen a little short."
STUDENT: "So after all of this, they could still say ‘no' if the regular decision application pool is competitive, too?"
ME: "Yes, that's correct. But they could also say ‘yes'"
‘Round and ‘round I go with the student a few more times and the parents twice as often. The conversation usually ends with no less angst on the part of the student and the family despite my efforts to convince this young person that life itself has not yet ended. The student mutters that "it" would be so much easier if he just knew if one way or the other. I can't help but agree. It's supposed to be an early decision. Not an early wait-and-see. If they don't quite measure up, cut the cord and let these poor kids move on to plan B. Otherwise, throw your arms open, be excited they loved your institution enough to take a risk, and start cultivating that engaged student and eventual happy alum.
Let us know what you think...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Fri, Nov 20, 2009
Last week I spent the better part of the week visiting colleges in North Carolina. I found myself on a whirlwind tour of 7 campuses in just over two days, and I would have kept going if I could have. Every time I visit college campuses, I walk away wishing I were a student again.
For those of you out there who, like me, applied to college 15, 20, or more years ago (I'll leave you guessing on my age), let me tell you that the college experience is not what it used to be. Do not try to advise your high schools seniors or juniors based on the knowledge you gained when you went through it. It's a whole new world. Literally and figuratively.
Everything is "global" and "experiential" and "connected" and "passionate" now. I don't think any of these adjectives could have been used to describe the just-over16 years of life I had experienced when I sat down at my typewriter (hey, it was electric!) and completed my college applications. Nor, with the exception of an internship and one semester-long research project with a professor, do they describe the experience I had while I was in college.
College students now are offered an abundance of opportunities to study and work abroad in countries all over the world. More and more, the cost for these experiences is built right into their tuition and fees. Overseas properties in exotic locations are hot commodities. London? Spain? Italy? *Yawn* We're talking about Ecuador and Copenhagen and Kenya now.
But students are not only going to far off places, they are also engaged in the communities in which their colleges reside. Courses in all disciplines and subjects incorporate community-based learning to give students an immediate outlet to apply what they have learned in the classroom while at the same time learning to become conscientious citizens.
Interns don't just do the filing, shadow the employees, and gripe about doing grunt work anymore. They are given projects to dig into and made team-members and asked to analyze data in ways that impact decisions - experiences that were previously reserved for entry-level employees. On campus, students have access to real-time trading and are given university money with which to do it - and they don't lose it all! They usually break even or make money.
This trend is long overdue. Most people learn better when they are allowed to do something rather than just hear it or see it. The world is not divided into subjects and colleges; it is interdisciplinary. Employers don't have the luxuries of time and money to train new hires if they wish to remain competitive in a global economy. It makes sense, of course, to incorporate "real-life" skills and experiences into the education of bright young minds because graduates need to be able to hit the ground running to have even a chance of landing a job in today's work places.
I cannot help but wonder, though, how much of it "sinks in" for these kids - because in many ways - and now more than ever, I believe (that's a topic for another blog) - they are still "kids." How may 17 to 21 year-olds are developmentally ready and able to achieve the levels of focus and introspection that would make these "passionate", "global" experiences truly rich and life-directing? Come to think of it, how many people of any age are sufficiently introspective to make the most of the experiences life has to offer?
And so I humbly submit, that I would like a "re-do" of my college years. I'm sure I can find my passion and my focus somewhere in Australia.
What would you do differently if given the chance for a college "re-do?" Leave a comment below...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Tue, Oct 06, 2009
A couple weeks back, the fall air intoxicated me, and I whimsically advised juniors (and late-blooming seniors) of the top 10 things NOT to do when applying to colleges. Now I'm feeling a bit more sober as I've been smacked back to reality by stressed seniors and their parents. If there is one message to parents that I would love to shout from the top of our office building, it is this:
As tempting as it may be to micro-manage the process or step in and "save" your child, DON'T do it!
Rather than just yell more about what students and their parents shouldn't do, I'd instead like to offer some balanced suggestions. These are intended for parents who are just beginning the process of researching college options with their children as well as for those who are knee-deep in it with their high school senior children.
DO outline your expectations and limitations (especially financial) clearly, but DON'T impose your expectations for the "look and feel" of the institution on your child. Let your child explore!
DO make a plan for when and how often you will communicate about the status of your child's college process, but DON'T expect to get a positive responsive if you bombard your child with questions as she's on the way out the door or when she first wakes up on the weekend. PLAN for successful communication!
Similarly, DO listen to your child's expectations, hopes and dreams for her college experience. By doing this, you will indicate that the process belongs to her - as does the responsibility for what gets done and what doesn't. Therefore, DON'T use the pronouns "we" or "our" in your discussions with her or anyone else ...as in "We would love to get into Harvard" or "We haven't written our essay yet."
Gaining admission to college is not a status competition; DON'T turn it into one for your child. DO encourage him to find the college that is the best fit for his learning style, career goals, social interests, and personality.
DON'T think you are saving your child time or "helping him" by making phone calls to Admissions Offices to set up interviews or ask questions about his applications. Admissions offices would much rather hear directly from the applicant than a parent.
However, DO make contact with the Financial Aid offices early in the process to find out what documents you need to file and when. Your child will likely not be in a position to know all of the financial information needed to complete the necessary forms.
Finally there are a few cardinal rules that are simply NON-NEGOTIABLE:
- DO NOT under any circumstances complete applications or write/over-edit essays for your child.
- DO be supportive, interested, and engaged.
- DO keep perspective in the process and the process in perspective. Love your child enough to help her do the same.
Any parent anecdotes? Confessions? Let us hear them...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Wed, Sep 16, 2009
It's fall. Even though the leaves haven't yet begun to turn colors, it feels like fall. The air in New England has taken a turn toward crisp, fall sports teams have played their first competitive matches, football is on TV, the apples are ripe, and students are settled back into their academic year routines.
For high school seniors, that means that they are well into the fall college application rhythm (or they should be by now). Ideally, at least one round of campus visits are behind them, they've narrowed their lists to a realistic number of colleges to which they will apply, essays are being polished, and their teachers are contemplating what to write in recommendations.
For juniors, the beginning of the school year means the anticipation. As they watch their senior friends stress about "getting it all done" and "getting in," they wait on pins and needles for their spring guidance counselor meetings to officially kick off their own descent into the frenzied process that has come to define applying to college. My job as an educational consultant is to help students - and their families - keep in check at least some of the anxiety, stress and craziness.
And so to that end, I offer juniors - and late-blooming seniors - my top 10 list of things NOT to do when applying to college.
10. Avoid talking to your parents about how you and they will fund your college education
9. Skip campus visits all together or "wait to see where you get in" before visiting colleges
8. Get senioritis and take an easy course load
7. Wait until the last minute to ask teachers to write recommendations for you
6. Post pictures of you drunk or other embarrassing content on social networking web sites
5. Let your parents do the research and create the list of colleges to which you will apply
4. Apply to colleges based on where your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. are applying
3. Don't explain a discrepancy in your academic record when a good explanation exists (for example, an illness or a death in the family)
2. Try to "hide" something (for example, suspension or other disciplinary actions)
1. Have someone else write your essay(s)
Stay tuned for my follow-up, in which I will feature a top 10 list for parents of those applying to college...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Mon, Jul 27, 2009
Ah, the lazy, hazy days of summer. Remember what it was like to look forward to summer as a kid? Three whole months! No school. No homework. Long hours of daylight. Lots of ice cream. My mother usually made sure to fill up a couple of weeks with day camps and rec programs so that my brother and I wouldn't drive her to the brink of insanity but these were carefree months.
Eventually, as a teenager, summer meant that I could work more hours to earn money that I would spend hanging out with friends at the mall or the movies or the local coffee shop. Not to pay bills; we didn't have cell phones then. If we had, I either wouldn't have been allowed to have one, or I'm sure my father would have introduced me to bill-paying as a teen. Even though I was "working", those three whole months of summer were still a vacation. They allowed me a break from the routine of getting up early, completing the compulsory number of hours in a school day, and committing several after-school hours each day to various school or community activities.
And so why am I surprised that I have to nag, beg, cajole and bargain with students to work on their college admissions essays over the summer? When I meet with students and parents each spring, to a person (students included), the number one stated objective, far and above all others, is "to be done with the college admissions essays and hopefully applications" before school resumes in September. The concept is great. The reality is that high school seniors-to-be want those three whole months to be as carefree as teenager can be in today's world.
But my job is to rain on their parade, be a party pooper, and stand-in for their parents as "nag" or "bad guy" on all things college-related. If I am successful at my job (which I am in most cases), students have, at the very least, completed the heavy lifting parts of applying to college before the first day of their senior year. The activities "resume" is done, the Common Application is 90% finished (with maybe just a few college supplements left to complete), and the major essay(s) might still need a tweak or two, but they're largely done. I try to make it as painless as possible. We tackle things in small pieces that usually require just a few hours' commitment each week through July and August. I don't hear many complaints, and those I do hear usually come from the students who procrastinate.
When September rolls around and my students go back to school, they realize how much further along they are in the application process than their peers. They don't experience the stress of trying to get essays written while studying for the SATs or completing the Common Application late at night when they're exhausted after a sports practice. That's when they realize that the minor intrusion on their three whole months off was well worth it.
It's mid-July, and I'm in "nag mode" right now. I won't breathe easy until next spring when all the admissions decisions have been received. Then I'll take one whole month before starting the cycle over with a new group. Ahhh, May!
Posted by Adam R. Goldberg, M.Ed. on Wed, Jun 24, 2009
Considering our growth in international markets, I wanted to bring to our readership an important posting from guest-blogger Jon Hodge, Ph.D., Founder & Owner of Strictly English. Jon's firm enlists a unique tutoring methodology for the Test of English as a Foreign Language (TOEFL) and remains laser-focused by specializing exclusively in TOEFL tutoring. While we cannot officially endorse Jon and his company, I can objectively report very strong results from my vantage point. Without further ado...
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By: Jon Hodge, Ph.D. of Strictly English
Although most students understand that preparing for the TOEFL exam will require many weeks (if not months) of study, most students do not realize that in addition to their study time, they also have to account for the time they will have to wait for an open test date as well as the time they will have to wait before receiving their scores. For example, at the time of this writing (June 24), there is only one July date available (July 27) in the Boston area. The next test date after that is August 1, which is 5 weeks away. In addition, students who take the August 1 TOEFL will not receive their scores until August 21, which is 8 weeks and 2 days from today.
So often, these two lengthy waiting periods surprise students. They think that they can just sign up two days in advance for the TOEFL and then receive their scores the following week. As you can see, this is not the case.
Therefore, it is best to plan the timeline for your TOEFL study and test date by working backward from your admissions deadline. Here's how.
Let's say you're applying Early Action to UMass Amherst.
ADMISSION DEADLINE: NOV 1.
It will take 3 weeks for TOEFL test results to arrive at UMass, so, TAKE TOEFL: OCT 10.
Because test centers often fill up 3-6 weeks before the test date, SIGN UP FOR OCT 10th TOEFL by AUG 29.
Plan to Study at least 12 weeks for the test, which means you should BEGIN TOEFL CLASSES NO LATER THAN JULY 18.
Beginning study in July for an October test at first seems premature, but it's actually just enough time.
To complicate matters more, there is the strong possibility that you will want to take more than one TOEFL. Maybe this is because you want to take a TOEFL before you begin studying so that you know what sections you're weak in and which sections you're strong in. Maybe it is because you're afraid that if your first TOEFL score is bad, you want the safety net of being able to take it again. For every additional TOEFL that you'll want to take, plan on adding an additional three weeks to your timeline. This is the length of time it will take to receive your score report.
If you add two more tests to the above timeline (one test before you begin studying, and one extra test at the end of study), that's an additional 6 weeks, which means you would want to begin the TOEFL process on June 6, a full five months before your Early Action Deadline.
The good news is that you could begin studying even before you get your test results back from the TOEFL you took before beginning TOEFL classes. Most likely, when you leave the exam, you'll have a good idea of what was your weakest section and you can begin working on that while you wait for the result to arrive three weeks later.
Strictly English has many other helpful TOEFL Tips on our blog and on our Twitter feed.
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Fri, May 22, 2009
Having spent well over a third of my life (40%, to be exact) on college campuses, I am prone to sentimentality during two very distinct times of year: opening weekend and commencement. Given that I am no longer working or living on a college campus but do live in an area saturated with them and still work with college-bound students, these "distinct" times of year, for me, have morphed into several weeks in late August/Early September and mid-May.
‘Tis the season for college commencements. Leaders and celebrities grace stages all over the country to express their expectations, dreams, and concerns for newly-christened "adults" and to share with them sage advice about how to be a better person, improve the world, or otherwise become "successful."
I am not in a position to have any expectations or dreams for students leaving college today. I certainly have plenty of concerns for them, though. Forget about "sage advice" as they venture from the warm womb of academia into the cold world. I opted to retreat back into that womb for a dozen more years after my own graduation.
I feel much more equipped to counsel (as I do) college-bound students who are getting ready to graduate from high school. And so here is my advice to them:
As much as you want to - and should - enjoy this summer following your senior year of high school spend some of it preparing yourself for the transition to college. Yes, it is a transition, and if you want to get through it with minimal pain you will need to put in some effort on the front end. Based on my experience, that means a few things, but most importantly, it means understanding how to organize yourself and manage your time. This looks like something different for every person. For me, as an undergraduate, it meant a planner (a good old fashioned week-view calendar) and colored pens. For today's high school graduates, it probably involves a mobile electronic device and typing with thumbs, but the intent is the same.
As a college administrator I was always most concerned about the students who walked into my office without a pen and piece of paper or without some way of keeping track of their schedules. Conversations with these advisees sounded something like this:
Me: "When is that assignment due?"
Student: "Hang on while I try to find my syllabus in this mess of a backpack and then locate that exact assignment on the schedule (because I haven't actually looked at the syllabus since it was handed to me), and then.....oops....it was due yesterday."
You get the point.
Practice scheduling your time, keeping appointments, making "to do" lists, etc. this summer. I know that sounds like a drag in the summer, but it doesn't have to be. Put into your calendar (phone/iPod/whatever) your mani's and pedi's, your beach time, pick-up games, rounds of golf. If you have a job, put your work hours in the calendar each week. Now you can schedule your fun around them. Make a "to do" list of things you need to buy for your dorm room or of people you want to be sure to see before you head off to school. You'll feel so good when you get to cross off or delete things as you accomplish them!
This is just practice; it doesn't have to be "serious" stuff. Just get in the habit of thinking about what you need - or want - to do and when it needs to be done. And make it part of your morning routine to look at your calendar or "to do" list every day. Inputting it or writing it down won't help if you never look at it again.
The best advice that I received as a high school senior actually came from a professor at the university I ended up attending. He told the audience of my peers (I'm paraphrasing after the first sentence), "Treat college like a 9-to-5 job. Whether you need to be at class or not, you're up and ready to work at 9AM. You don't go back to your room to watch TV or sleep between classes because you're still ‘at work'. Go to the library and study. At 5:00 you can close your books, go to dinner, and enjoy the rest of your evening. If you do this, if you truly work diligently from 9 to 5 every Monday through Friday, you will not fall behind; you will not have to do tons of reading at night." He was talking about managing our time, setting priorities. I didn't know that then, but I sure wish I had listened to him.
Please share your insights...
Posted by Nina Flood, M.B.A. on Mon, May 18, 2009
The Answer Is: $60/hour. What is the question?
What is the hourly rate of classroom instruction based on the $52k price tag of attendance at Massachusetts Institute of Technology?
Though not likely to be heard on the real TV show "Jeopardy", it is the kind of unforgettable lesson that Daniel Barkowitz, MIT's Director of Financial Aid, (and professor of a seminar on personal finance) teaches. Daniel has always had a unique ability to take complex financial aid and financing concepts and make them into something more widely accessible. Because of the economic downturn and resulting higher stress put on college students and their families, I recently met with Daniel to get his perspective on what is needed now.
He offered up with two "Stress Less" solutions (not stressless, but stress reducing) that we are considering here at The Goldberg Center:
1. One of the problems needing a solution is the lack of timely, accurate information available to families. Because most financial aid offices are completely swamped with calls and emails from January through May, (for first years) and May through August, (for the continuing students), many families turn to each other. In person or online, they often inadvertently receive or share misinformation. We are contemplating an online forum that would enable a family to pose a question, get the real regulatory language answer, and then allow its discussion. Most importantly, this forum would be monitored by professionals within the industry to assure that only accurate information remained posted.
2. Another problem is the lack of holistic planning that goes into a family's game plan. There seems to be two schools of thought: either you make financing as painful as possible by paying more than you can afford in an effort to minimize financing costs or remain in denial by deferring payments with expensive financing vehicles. The neglect of a middle ground, however, leads to both shattered dreams and finances. There is a need for a tool that enables a family to see the long and short term benefits of, say, putting half of the balance in a payment plan and assuming a loan for the remainder. The tool we envision would also provide the total and immediate costs of the options for a minimum of four years of the employed strategy.
Which of these two solutions do you feel would be more valuable and merit higher priority for us? Let us know in your comments to this post - thanks in advance!