Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Tue, Oct 06, 2009
A couple weeks back, the fall air intoxicated me, and I whimsically advised juniors (and late-blooming seniors) of the top 10 things NOT to do when applying to colleges. Now I'm feeling a bit more sober as I've been smacked back to reality by stressed seniors and their parents. If there is one message to parents that I would love to shout from the top of our office building, it is this:
As tempting as it may be to micro-manage the process or step in and "save" your child, DON'T do it!
Rather than just yell more about what students and their parents shouldn't do, I'd instead like to offer some balanced suggestions. These are intended for parents who are just beginning the process of researching college options with their children as well as for those who are knee-deep in it with their high school senior children.
DO outline your expectations and limitations (especially financial) clearly, but DON'T impose your expectations for the "look and feel" of the institution on your child. Let your child explore!
DO make a plan for when and how often you will communicate about the status of your child's college process, but DON'T expect to get a positive responsive if you bombard your child with questions as she's on the way out the door or when she first wakes up on the weekend. PLAN for successful communication!
Similarly, DO listen to your child's expectations, hopes and dreams for her college experience. By doing this, you will indicate that the process belongs to her - as does the responsibility for what gets done and what doesn't. Therefore, DON'T use the pronouns "we" or "our" in your discussions with her or anyone else ...as in "We would love to get into Harvard" or "We haven't written our essay yet."
Gaining admission to college is not a status competition; DON'T turn it into one for your child. DO encourage him to find the college that is the best fit for his learning style, career goals, social interests, and personality.
DON'T think you are saving your child time or "helping him" by making phone calls to Admissions Offices to set up interviews or ask questions about his applications. Admissions offices would much rather hear directly from the applicant than a parent.
However, DO make contact with the Financial Aid offices early in the process to find out what documents you need to file and when. Your child will likely not be in a position to know all of the financial information needed to complete the necessary forms.
Finally there are a few cardinal rules that are simply NON-NEGOTIABLE:
- DO NOT under any circumstances complete applications or write/over-edit essays for your child.
- DO be supportive, interested, and engaged.
- DO keep perspective in the process and the process in perspective. Love your child enough to help her do the same.
Any parent anecdotes? Confessions? Let us hear them...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Wed, Sep 16, 2009
It's fall. Even though the leaves haven't yet begun to turn colors, it feels like fall. The air in New England has taken a turn toward crisp, fall sports teams have played their first competitive matches, football is on TV, the apples are ripe, and students are settled back into their academic year routines.
For high school seniors, that means that they are well into the fall college application rhythm (or they should be by now). Ideally, at least one round of campus visits are behind them, they've narrowed their lists to a realistic number of colleges to which they will apply, essays are being polished, and their teachers are contemplating what to write in recommendations.
For juniors, the beginning of the school year means the anticipation. As they watch their senior friends stress about "getting it all done" and "getting in," they wait on pins and needles for their spring guidance counselor meetings to officially kick off their own descent into the frenzied process that has come to define applying to college. My job as an educational consultant is to help students - and their families - keep in check at least some of the anxiety, stress and craziness.
And so to that end, I offer juniors - and late-blooming seniors - my top 10 list of things NOT to do when applying to college.
10. Avoid talking to your parents about how you and they will fund your college education
9. Skip campus visits all together or "wait to see where you get in" before visiting colleges
8. Get senioritis and take an easy course load
7. Wait until the last minute to ask teachers to write recommendations for you
6. Post pictures of you drunk or other embarrassing content on social networking web sites
5. Let your parents do the research and create the list of colleges to which you will apply
4. Apply to colleges based on where your friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. are applying
3. Don't explain a discrepancy in your academic record when a good explanation exists (for example, an illness or a death in the family)
2. Try to "hide" something (for example, suspension or other disciplinary actions)
1. Have someone else write your essay(s)
Stay tuned for my follow-up, in which I will feature a top 10 list for parents of those applying to college...
Posted by Karen Plescia, M.S. on Mon, Jul 27, 2009
Ah, the lazy, hazy days of summer. Remember what it was like to look forward to summer as a kid? Three whole months! No school. No homework. Long hours of daylight. Lots of ice cream. My mother usually made sure to fill up a couple of weeks with day camps and rec programs so that my brother and I wouldn't drive her to the brink of insanity but these were carefree months.
Eventually, as a teenager, summer meant that I could work more hours to earn money that I would spend hanging out with friends at the mall or the movies or the local coffee shop. Not to pay bills; we didn't have cell phones then. If we had, I either wouldn't have been allowed to have one, or I'm sure my father would have introduced me to bill-paying as a teen. Even though I was "working", those three whole months of summer were still a vacation. They allowed me a break from the routine of getting up early, completing the compulsory number of hours in a school day, and committing several after-school hours each day to various school or community activities.
And so why am I surprised that I have to nag, beg, cajole and bargain with students to work on their college admissions essays over the summer? When I meet with students and parents each spring, to a person (students included), the number one stated objective, far and above all others, is "to be done with the college admissions essays and hopefully applications" before school resumes in September. The concept is great. The reality is that high school seniors-to-be want those three whole months to be as carefree as teenager can be in today's world.
But my job is to rain on their parade, be a party pooper, and stand-in for their parents as "nag" or "bad guy" on all things college-related. If I am successful at my job (which I am in most cases), students have, at the very least, completed the heavy lifting parts of applying to college before the first day of their senior year. The activities "resume" is done, the Common Application is 90% finished (with maybe just a few college supplements left to complete), and the major essay(s) might still need a tweak or two, but they're largely done. I try to make it as painless as possible. We tackle things in small pieces that usually require just a few hours' commitment each week through July and August. I don't hear many complaints, and those I do hear usually come from the students who procrastinate.
When September rolls around and my students go back to school, they realize how much further along they are in the application process than their peers. They don't experience the stress of trying to get essays written while studying for the SATs or completing the Common Application late at night when they're exhausted after a sports practice. That's when they realize that the minor intrusion on their three whole months off was well worth it.
It's mid-July, and I'm in "nag mode" right now. I won't breathe easy until next spring when all the admissions decisions have been received. Then I'll take one whole month before starting the cycle over with a new group. Ahhh, May!
Posted by Adam R. Goldberg, M.Ed. on Thu, Apr 16, 2009
I've read them all... and even still, most college admissions essays put me to sleep. Sorry.
I don't want to hear about your new appreciation for life after seeing how "the other side" lives in some shanty village by that resort you stayed in with your parents. (yawn)
I could care less about your grandmother, without whom you never would have been inspired to achieve excellence. (ho-hum)
Oh, and please don't even bother using the college admission essay to explain away erratic grades or poor test scores. (yikes)
So, which ones are the good ones? The ones that have me jumping out of my seat with hands in the air do the following:
- They hook me... there's no way I'm only eating that one potato chip.
- They humble me... a single moment in time changes the course of life.
- They invite me... I'm given the keys to heart and soul.
- They inspire me... and suddenly all seems good in the world.
- They move me... I'll actually never be the same again after reading.
Tall order for a young mind? Perhaps.... But I don't make the rules. I can only show you how to use them to your advantage, or even bend them ever-so-slightly.
Winning college admissions essays, in my opinion? Here are two opening excerpts that stand out and have even earned direct handwritten praise from admissions officers on their acceptance letters:
1. A day in the life of an typical kid in a typical town with a not-so-typical role in his community:
I'm the one creeping around in your bushes as the sun sets. I'm the one spotted taking notes on the side of your house when nobody is home... I'm the water meter reader in zip code 02---.
This essay goes on to demonstrate the "dirty job, but someone's gotta do it" principle. Note that I stress ‘demonstrate...' the student used vivid imagery to show rather than tell the story. He gave examples of characters with whom he interacted, and ultimately left the impression that he's the guy you want in your community, on your campus. Guess what - it worked!
2. A self-proclaimed astronomy geek, who changes the mindset of his hockey teammates:
Busted! The hockey guys followed me from the rink to the observatory, finally discovering where I was spending my extra time. For a stretch I was the most ridiculed six-foot-four hockey player in the history of our school. That was until I decided to return the favor by bringing out the inner-geek of my teammates as well.
He continued on with this exhibition of humility. Ironically, his vulnerability induced an impression of both self-assuredness and impassioned pursuit. When he dragged his buddies to check out the stars and they actually enjoyed themselves in the end, he was transformed from closet geek into community leader... one who was evidently the object of desire for each admissions officer who read his essay.
For all of you high school juniors out there, keep these points in mind when you begin to dig in this Spring/Summer. And feel free to get in touch if you want feedback or specific strategies. We are launching a service in the coming weeks that addresses this critical college application component.